Why can’t I envision myself?

Holidays, Work, and Standardized Testing
November 28, 2018
What has happened in the last month?
January 9, 2019

I cannot picture what I will look like in ten years. I can envision what I would like to have, how I would like to act, to behave, how I would like to live… but I can’t picture myself. It’s not that I think that I will fail, that I will amount to nothing. If anything, I think that the opposite is true. I fully believe that I will have success, that I will invest in myself and prosper. Obviously, I have to believe in these things, in myself if I want to succeed, I would think that these ideas are simple. It has always been a common (and very cliche) practice for some advising figure in anyone’s life to ask the question, “what will you be when you grow up”, “where do you envision yourself in ten years”, “what success will you have at our company?” Though they vary in their approach, they all ask the same, dumbed-down question of who we think we will want to be.
I don’t know.
I have absolutely no clue who I will be, what I will look like. I can envision what I will accrue, but not how I will develop. Maybe its an issue with the gray area in between, that I have no clue how to get there. I would say that its easy for most people to sit on their couch and say that they will make one hundred thousand dollars. It’s not that they don’t have a clearly defined goal that is unreachable. There is a set amount, and for some people, they can make that amount in a year, two years, maybe even three. The issue becomes when they change the timing. Someone saying that they want to make one hundred thousand a month is a different story. They still have a clearly defined goal… the issue is that more than 99.9% of them don’t know the steps to get there. You cant achieve a goal that you didn’t know how to get to in the first place. I can’t do that, you can’t do that, no one can do that. You have to learn the steps to get there. The mountaintop is daunting when fog and clouds cover the base, the goal is the most unreachable when you can’t see any path or even the option to make a path ahead of you. The only way that I can envision myself is when I learn how I will get to that place.